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When people talk about engagements, they gush over the candlelight and the dropping-on-one-knee. But let’s face it. Nobody talks about what happens if you hate the ring.
Most women have a particular style, and if you’ve been dating seriously for some time, the chances are good that you’ve looked at a few rings yourself. You may have had something in particular in mind. And what if he proposes with a ring that you would never, ever have chosen yourself?
We’ve heard many proposal stories over the years, and one thing is for sure: there’s no one correct way to handle this situation. But we’ve also gathered helpful tips from multiple parties. We present them to you here and leave it to you to decide how to proceed. Hopefully, one of these strategies will pull you through.
Your fiance has worked himself up for the big ask, so respect the emotional sensitivity of the moment. Any immediate conflict or criticism could spark more drama than it’s worth, so respond to the proposal itself and leave ring discussion for another day.
Wait for your fiance to bring up the ring and ask your opinion; don’t start the conversation yourself. And when you do express your dislike, use humour and keep the tone light. Then, make a joint decision regarding what to do next.
It doesn’t hurt to wait a week or two. Even though the ring wasn’t what you had in mind, you may decide with time that this ring is just as lovely. Get used to wearing it and seeing it for a couple of weeks, and then reevaluate.
If, after giving it some time, you decide that you can’t live with the ring, you’ll need to express your true feelings tactfully. When you do, don’t make it about taste. You don’t want to offend your significant other by giving the impression that his taste is inferior to yours.
Establish a loving context for your comments. You might want to start by saying something like, “The day you proposed was the happiest day of my life, and I can’t wait until we’re officially together forever. I love that you carefully chose my ring, but this one doesn’t feel quite right on my finger.”
Before you take this step, be sensitive to issues of cost. Some jewellers may be willing to work out an exchange, but he may have already maxed out his budget. If the jeweller doesn’t allow exchanges, you could consider selling the ring and buying a new one. You might consider contributing to the price of a different ring; some couples now split the cost of rings since they’re both working.
Maybe you’ve been given an heirloom ring that has been in the family for several generations. In this case, you might offer to reset the stone in a setting that better suits your taste. If the ring is new, you could shop together for an exchange.
If the ring doesn’t feel comfortable on your finger, it might just need to be resized. Visit with your jeweller if you suspect that this is the problem. In most cases, rings can be sized up or down, but if the band is covered in pave stones, or if it has a tension setting, you may need to seek other options.
If all of these options sound awkward and ungrateful, you can keep your dislike to yourself and learn to love your engagement ring. Remember that the ring itself is a token of something much more important: your shared love and commitment to one another. Thinking about how much he loved choosing it for you might help you to keep things in perspective.
You’ll always have other jewellery options for expressing your personality and style. Chances are, you and your future spouse will both do some changing in the coming years as you influence each other and learn together. Learning to love your engagement ring could be the first step in that process.
When you settle on an engagement ring, insure it with Q Report jewellery insurance. Engagement rings can take a beating since they’re worn day in and day out. Protect that token of his affection with cover that can fully replace or restore it when the unexpected happens.
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This has not taken cut, colour, clarity or carat, your financial situation or your partners taste into account. There are many factors that can reduce or increase the value of an engagement ring.
Speak with one of our Q Certified Jewellers to find out what you can afford, what your partner is looking for and what will financially work best for you.
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